Happy Holidays!!!

I woke up this morning hung over from work and in a sour mood. I was hungry and there was no food in my house, so as I was getting ready to go to the grocery store, I thought to myself, “Where are you Christmas?” An internal rant ensued.

Christmas is bull shit. Jesus wasn’t even born on December 25th. He was born in f*cking March. Just another Holiday the Roman Catholic Church stole from us Pagans and turned into payday… for them. It’s all commercialism and consumerism. All bull shit and bills, bills, bills.

But then I found a santa hat for my kee kee moa moa at the dollar store. I put it on her and suddenly we were dancing around to Christmas music on Pandora radio. She made a byootifewl kitteh santa and suddenly I felt the Christmas spirit again!

And then I realized… Christmas isn’t about giving or taking or Jesus or Santa. I looked into Isis’s furry face and figured it all out.

Christmas is about shopping.

Happy Holidays!

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One Response

  1. Every young writer starts out by emulating a successful, published antecedent. You’ve evidently chosen Hunter S. Thompson as your role model.

    Jesus wasn’t born on Dec 25th, Jan 6th, or Mar 25th, because, as a fictional character, he was never born. Jesus is a composite of several prophets/agitators over 250 years of Jewish History, plus some traits of a couple of regional gods thrown in.

    I still like christmas.

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