Women’s History is Human History

“Women’s rights are human rights.”

-Hillary Rodham Clinton

I wanted to write this post last month, but I got caught up in Health Insurance Reform and afterwards I couldn’t write about anything other than singing sparrows and cars that honk orgasms for weeks–I was that depressed. But now I’m back and ready to get my hands dirty once again.

As any reader of this blog knows, my respected friend Tamerlane and I have butted heads over the subject of feminist prehistory on several occasions now, albeit of course in a friendly way.  Tamerlane wrote of my last post on the subject (oh yeah, the one that Roseanne Barr linked to on her blog. Mmmhhhmm, that one. Can I get a WHAT WHAT?):

Littleisis, our fellow true liberal and bearer of the Liberal Rapturestandard, writes about an exhibit of prehistoric artifacts which have been interpreted by some to indicate the existence of ancient matriarchal societies.  These goddess-worshipping cultures were supposedly peaceful and egalitarian, until being obliterated by invasions of patriarchal, hunter-warrior dudes.  Most experts dismiss these theories as fanciful and unsupported by the evidence.Littleisis, our fellow true liberal and bearer of the Liberal Rapturestandard, writes about an exhibit of prehistoric artifacts which have been interpreted by some to indicate the existence of ancient matriarchal societies.  These goddess-worshipping cultures were supposedly peaceful and egalitarian, until being obliterated by invasions of patriarchal, hunter-warrior dudes.  Most experts dismiss these theories as fanciful and unsupported by the evidence.Pop on over to Liberal Rapture and decide for yourself.  Littleisis is a witty writer & an astute observer of politics and culture, and always worth a visit.

Witty though I am, I would like to take a second to remind everyone of who I am: a nineteen-year-old school girl who frankly does not know her ass hole from her belly button about a lot of things. I’m no scholar. In time, I’d like to say I have enough life and academic experience to say I’m half the woman some of the people I blog alongside are. But for now I’m just a hyper little ball of estrogen on legs, and you should keep that in mind when I take enough time out of my life filled with text messaging, shopping, research papers,  facebooking, running from the cops and chasing boys (and girls) to rifle through the all the sex, vampires, sparkly penises and make up tips filling up my brian to write down something remotely intelligent or thoughtful.

This however, does not excuse me from the fact that I have yet to fully articulate just what the hell I’m talking about when I write posts about feminist prehistory. I first mentioned it in an article about honor killings and then it just spiraled and got really out of hand. Specifically, I want to quote one of Tamerlane’s commenters Sima, because I agree with her point:

It’s so easy to look at an object and dream about what that object meant to a culture. It’s easy to take mythologies about mythology and assume they represent some sort of ancient, unobtainable being. Historically, goddesses were worshipped, sometimes as heads of pantheons. That doesn’t mean women were well-regarded. The Virgin Mary is one of the most important female icons of the Western World. Her portrait appears everywhere. Her life and deeds are celebrated by many strains of Christianity. She is especially revered by Catholics. And… she exists in the middle of patriarchy. We have little to no idea if pre-historic goddesses reflected women’s power in and over society, or women’s place in society, or both.


Gimbutas work is important as a possible interpretation of pre-history. It is not the only interpretation, or even the most valid one, at this point. Her work does need to be re-examined periodically as new knowledge and techniques come into being because who knows, she might be right.

I would never make the leap, for example, that just because a society has female diety it is not patriarchal. The Romans had female goddesses as part of their pantheons, and no one would call them egalitarian. Nor would I make a leap that a society has to be peaceful in order to have any kind of gender equality. All though I do believe gender equality, especially in government, permeates peace, because it encourages equality rather than dominance.

I don’t disagree with Tamerlane and others that there is not sufficient, solid proof that egalitarian cultures like that of the Minoans existed and that theories of feminist prehistory put forward by archeologists like Gimbatus and Eislier are just that: theories.  I do however, disagree with the notion that this makes it entirely impobable that such things might possibly be true.

The most recent book I’ve read about this was written in 2007, by Craig Barnes. (Highly recommended. Everyone on Amazon gives it five stars.) Regarding the theory of “hunter warrior dudes” as Tamerlane puts it, he explains:

…among these scholars, including Joseph Campbell, a tradition that war-like nomads had swept down from the steps of Asia bringing patriarchy and oppression and that the origins of misogyny were from these nomads. A furious intellectual debate then raged through the 1990s over the issue of who these nomads were, why they had not left more evidence, what language they spoke, where their pots and houses were. In the end, many modern scholars, including many women, turned to critique Campbell and Gimbatus and the so-called nomad theory. In addition, when the evidence was insufficient to establish these nomadic invasions in a certain time and place or to establish whether they were outsiders or insiders, the critics began to disparage not only the Campbell-Gimbatus theory of invasions but also the whole of the “goddess movement.” Critics disparaged the idea that there ever had been a universal Mother Earth Goddess or that there had ever been a peaceful society or that there had ever been anything like nomadic invasions that caused a change to patriarchy. They argued, with substantial justification, that there had never had never been proof of matriarchy or a universal goddess in western European history. With less justification, however, they went beyond these reasonable questions about nomads and a universal Earth Mother goddess to dispute whether women had ever been more prominent in Western culture and whether some pre-greek societies were women centered, or egalitarian, or peaceful. As a result, scholarship has since settled back into a comfort zone with it’s time honored patriarchal conclusions.

Barnes doesn’t make the case that society became patriarchal and war like because of hunter warrior nomad types from Asia that invaded and raped, killed and took over Goddess-centered societies, regardless of whether that theory is true or not. He does make the case that people are not war-like by nature. I believe that also but my personal belief that human beings are basically good, personally responsible and fully in charge of their own destinies rather than hopelessly condemned and entrenched in original sin–totally controlled by the whims of of an evil satan monster who lives underground  and makes them do bad things is just that. Personal.

What Barnes does say is that while war can be effective in changing society, it is consciousness that moves it to change the most. The American Revolution, for example, started way before the battle of Lexington and Concord. It started with an idea that turned into a shot heard ’round the world. And the same can be said of any time in human history.

A few thousand years ago, Homer wrote the Odyssey and The Iliad around the same time the Hebrews wrote the Old Testament, both of which are highly patriarchal and violent and both of which are taught to young children as guidelines to having upstanding moral values, for some reason.

There is strong evidence that society was not originally patriarchal, but that is not what is important. What is important is what is right in front of us, right now. As I said before, one needs to merely pick up a history book and they’ll know that Patriarchy is simply not beneficial to human evolution. Whenever, as SOD calls it, social dominance takes a back seat to some kind of equality, we as human beings improve.

Hunter warrior dudes or not, we can assume that society was at one time egalitarian and is capable of being egalitarian because history tells us so. Women have been involved in every single positive change in modern history. Civil rights, gay rights, abolition, et cetera. Countries like Finland and Iceland, whose governments are fairly gender equal have better health care, better economies and do not constantly involve themselves in the conflicts of other nations. As flawed and ridiculous as we human beings can often be, facts just show that we can’t have come as far as we have by doing the same thing over and over again. That is the definition of insanity and insanity destroys itself from the inside out.

And when I say human beings, I mean all human beings,  male or female. Tamerlane and I are in agreement that some people who do appear to believe in the nomad theory do try to use it as evidence that men are by nature inferior and predispositioned to violence, stupidity and war while women are docile and motherly and rely on right brain thinking rather than logic.  That is not only bull shit, it is frankly sexist. Equality is acknowledgement that the only differences between men and women are biological. Like in Sally Potter’s Orlando. “Same person, just a different sex.” And I do feel sorry for Tamerlane, seeing as how he was attacked by women who apparently had that ridiculous attitude.

Either way, I am moving forward. As I said before, this information is relevant and no, it does not embarrass feminists. As our shero said,

There cannot be true democracy unless women’s voices are heard. There cannot be true democracy unless women are given the opportunity to take responsibility for their own lives. There cannot be true democracy unless all citizens are able to participate fully in the lives of their country.

You tell ’em, Hillary.

Today’s Dish

Let’s start off with our favorite: Celebrity News.

More John Edwards drama.

Yup, John Edwards isn’t just a wife beater. He is a cancer-stricken-wife beater. Who cheated on his wife in the middle of a presidential campaign. Then knocked his mistress (whom he now plans on marrying) up and made a sex tape with her while she was pregnant. Then–and this is the worse–refused to admit paternity of his own child, and tried to make another guy admit paternity. And spent ungodly amounts of money covering up all of the lies. While talking about family values and “Two Americas.” You just can’t make this shit up.

A staffer whom I feel a great deal of sympathy for tells her story:

We put politicians where they don’t belong — on a stage and above us. We are starstruck when we should be sober about whether or not they are doing a good job. We demand perfection in their personal lives when all that should matter is if they are obeying the law and maintaining the public trust. We should use this scandal to bring all of our expectations for our leaders back to earth. Stop giving them a stage, confetti, and a theme song, and never forget that the faster they rise, the harder they fall.

That night during the Hope For Haiti Now telethon, Mary J. Blige sang a version of “Hard Times Come Again No More,” which is an old song written in 1854. It begins,

“Let us pause in life’s pleasures and count it’s many tears While we all sup sorrow with the poor

There’s a song that will linger forever in our ears;

Oh, hard times come again no more”

We now know this Edwards’ mess is going to linger. It looks like there might be a criminal trial, a lawsuit over the sex tape, and a divorce argued in the pages of The National Enquirer. But we can still choose to be inspired because here’s what else still lingers: Haiti. They need us more than ever with the latest death toll climbing to 230,000.

Go to hopeforhaitinow.org, buy “Hard Times Come Again No More” on iTunes, Rhapsody, Amazon.com or Napster — buy the entire album and let’s do some good. Let it be our inspiring reaction to this scandal’s storm. Play it loud and see the task that remains in front of us in Haiti and here in America. We were right to care even if John did so much wrong.

I’ve said before that I didn’t trust John Edwards the moment I first saw him back in 2004–via the scumbag detector in my loins. There was something about his eyes. They were empty, sort of dead. Looking at everything that’s come together about this scandal, I think its safe to say that John Edwards is a sociopath. All the tell tale signs are there. Its one thing to say that yes, a politician’s sex life bears no resemblance to their abilities as a public servant, and that’s the truth. I wish we were more like Europe- over there they don’t pay attention to their leaders’ personal lives and their governments appear to run more effectively for it. No one appears to be getting impeached for a few blowjobs. But as Wendy says:

There it was reminding me that I hadn’t paid attention to actions, character, and the signs that were everywhere in how John treated other people, how they tossed people aside. I never had the courage to question, not why Andrew Young did what he did before he admitted paternity, but what it showed about John that he continued to ask him to do the unthinkable.

I was actually very close to a sociopath once, and she had a lot of John Edwards characteristics. She cried a lot- remember Edwards hiding in the bathroom stall? She feigned caring and compassion for others and then tossed them aside when she got bored with them. Everything was always about her, and she stayed in and continues to stay in a dysfunctional relationship in order to garner more attention to herself.

Having an affair is one thing, but not even Elizabeth Edwards is the one who was wronged the most in this situation. She is clearly more talented than her husband and was trying to live out her ambitions through him when she knew his campaign was a facade. She should be given the sympathy she is due, but thinking she is anything other than in imperfect human being would be wrong. No, the  person who was wronged the most in this scandal was little Frances Quinn Hunter, who has to grow up living with who her father is and the burden he put on her by asking for her forgiveness. Forgiveness is a gift; it is not obligatory. And Quinn shouldn’t have to give her father a gift when he never gave anything to her, other than a sperm donation. Every time anyone shakes their head for this story, it shouldn’t be for John Edwards. It should be for his children.

Confirmed: MJ had vitiligo.

For those who didn’t believe that Michael Jackson suffered from Vitiligo – a disease which causes depigmentation in patches of skin – you were wrong.

On Wednesday the Los Angeles County coroner released the King of Pop’s autopsy results, and among the findings was the fact that Jackson had vitiligo and had tattooed on black eyeliner and a “pink tattoo” near his lips to help hide the disorder.

Alec Baldwin was briefly hospitalized.

’30 Rock’ actor Alec Baldwin was rushed to a New York City hospital overnight after his daughter thought he was being unresponsive, according to various reports. A law enforcement official told the Associated Press that Baldwin and 14-year-old Ireland had been arguing, and she told 911 that he had threatened to take pills. The official spoke on the condition of anonymity.

Blackwater employees hired prostitutes.

Two former employees of Blackwater Worldwide have accused the private security contractor of defrauding the government for years with phony billing, including charging for a prostitute, alcohol and spa trips.

Surprise, surprise.

More surprises. A new Poll finds that most American are unhappy with the government.

Two-thirds of Americans are “dissatisfied” or downright “angry” about the way the federal government is working, according to a new Washington Post-ABC News poll. On average, the public estimates that 53 cents of every tax dollar they send to Washington is “wasted.”

Women Are Not Supposed to Be Presidents, Because it is Not Biblical

Temptress Geena Davis Decieves The American Cable Viewing Audience and Pollutes the Will of the Lord

Temptress Geena Davis Decieves The American Cable Viewing Audience and Pollutes the Will of the Lord

A few months ago, Little Isis was creek walking with a friend and they both slipped on some mossy rocks. Isis’s friend fell backwards and began to slide downstream. There was danger up ahead- a mini waterfall, so Isis stopped pretending to be Jane from Tarzan and let go of the shrub branches she was using as vines to twirl around in the stream and went to help her friend. It was a successful struggle, and Isis ended up having to use a stick to pull her companion out of a ditch, but she hit her head on a tree trunk.

Since then, what began as minor headaches and spasms of pain has slowly materialized into me. I am Little Nephthys. I exist because of suppressed childhood memories and unnatural urges, and I occasionally take over Little Isis’s mind/consciousness, give or take about once a week. I am her alter ago, by definition, and there are a few things you should know about me: I sometimes have inappropriate sexual feelings for girls. But I have prayed about it with Jesus a lot and he has helped me conquer my sickness. In fact, my life was empty before I accepted him as my Lord and Savior and asked him to forgive my many sins, including the time I made out with my PE teacher after Gym Class. My hobbies include reading the Bible, eating pudding, getting into water balloon fights with my Youth Group (Sally got a little weirded out when I smashed the one balloon over her head and accidentally, on purpose, goosed her, but I think we are okay now), and reading devotionals. I spend my Saturday Nights shining my shoes, and I think all Queers should burn in the fires of Hell. I also hate Disney, Musicals, Britney Spears, Satire,  The Clintons, Anime, Old People and ballet flats worn with skirts and leggings. I really prefer Jeans and T-shirts!

So now that you all know a little bit about me, we can talk about what really matters. Well, not what REALLY matters. I would like to personally have a conversation with all of you about what Salvation with Jesus Christ can bring to your life. God is so Good and all he wants is to be close to you. He has a plan and a purpose for each and every one of you! I am personally so concerned with your salvation, and I am praying for you every day.

But that will have to be for another day. I would really like to talk about why there will never be a Woman President: It’s God’s Will! In the beginning, it was Eve who was wicked and took the apple from the tree and sinned. SHE, and by extension, woman, is the original sinner! Don’t you see what would happen if a woman became the leader of the Free World? Jesus died on the Cross for the sins of Eve and Womankind, therefore, it is our DUTY to be ruled by man. After all,  Genesis 3:16 says “You shall suffer terribly when you give birth. But you will still desire your husband, and he will rule over you.”

So you see? It is Biblical that a woman- a descendant of the Temptress Eve, should never be President of the United States of America, the Greatest Country ever on God’s Green Earth, ever.

Now, I know how upset you all over how Hillary Clinton lost and how Sarah Palin also lost to President Barack Obama, but it is really time to get over it and stop feeling so sorry for yourselves.

However, Little Isis is so concerned with women Presidents, and I have taken over her body and all for the time being, so I think I should get into the game of Political Punditry a little bit. If a woman runs for President she will have to be the right type of woman. No one likes Hillary because she is too smart and she hates men. She is the product of the extremely self indulgant nineteen sixties and also she is a lesbian. Her husband, Bill is only married to her so she could help him become President, and he sleeps with black women. That is why no one likes her. She is just bitter and mean and feminist like all of you.

No one likes Sarah Palin because she has had too many kids- and no one likes kids. Also, she is really pretty and she isn’t very smart, so a lot of people don’t like her because they automatically think she is a slut. Her youngest son probably isn’t hers, and I think her husband has sex with her daughters, which also very sinful- he should sleep with his cousins if he wants to have relations with family members. And another thing- Sarah Palin shoots wolves from airplanes and clubs baby seals with baseball bats. I don’t care about animal rights because God has declared that man has dominion over nature, but people just get squeamish when they think of baby seals being clubbed and little girls paying for their rape kits.

See, your problem is that you aren’t picking the right type of women to invest in. You should support nice women like Michelle Obama, Nancy Pelosi, and Laura Bush. Sadly, those women are smart enough to understand that women are in fact, NOT supposed to be Presidents, and you all just can’t see how great they are anyway, so I am going to do you a favor and give you a list of the qualities you should look for in the women Politicians you decide to support in the future.

1. The woman you support should have a perfect Marriage. But her marriage can’t be TOO perfect. Show off, c*nt! Or else she is just being arrogant and someone would just have to take her down a notch. Besides, if a woman is married and in Politics that means her Husband is actually doing all the work.

2. She should have kids. But she can’t have only one, that means she isn’t fertile enough and is a lesbian. And she can’t have too many, that means she is just too fertile and is too dumb to use contraception (even though contraception is a sin and should never be used). And of course, since her primary duty is motherhood, she shouldn’t be letting them out in public and therefore exploiting them politically, because that means reporters have to interview them and criticize them and make mean jokes about them, making them bad mothers. But they are also unconvincing mothers if they shield their children from the Press, because that means the child has something to hide, like, if it is a daughter, that she is a lesbian.

3. She should be extremely attractive. But not too attractive, because that means men are just voting for her because she is pretty.  She should also be fashionable, but not too fashionable, because that means she spends money on clothes, and that means she is a Diva.

4. She should never complain about the misogynistic coverage she gets in the Press. You don’t want a whiner, do you? If you can’t stand the heat, stay out of the kitchen! But she should also call out sexism in the media whenever she sees it, because if she doesn’t that means she is just selling out women and Feminists.

5. She has to be Conservative. The first woman President has to be a Margaret Thatcher type, because men don’t want to vote for feminist ball busters, and the woman in question can’t appear weak. But also not very Conservative, because then she is a war hawk lesbian Republican ratf*cker c*nt.

6. She has to be experienced and an accomplished Public Servant- but not TOO experienced! Because that means she is not new and fresh and it also means she is a Washington insider, regardless of how much of her career has actually been in Washington. And besides, it would also mean that she is old. And old woman are boner crushers. But young, inexperienced women are only good for sex anyway.

7. She has to be Pro Life. What kind of mother isn’t Pro Life? But if she is Pro-Life, she is also selling out women and feminists.

8. She has to be a self made woman- no help from her husband in her political career. But also, that basically just means she is inexperienced and not fit to be Commander in Chief, and probably has a bad marriage. If her husband appears to be her partner in all things- including her political career, than that just means she is a sell out to feminists. Oh, and that she has a bad marriage, because it would just be a sham of political convenience.

9. She has to be a feminist. But not TOO feminist. No dude wants to vote for a hairy old man hating feminist. But if she is not a convincing feminist, than that just means she is selling out women.

10. She has to be a great politician- really talented! If she can’t even run a campaign, than how can she run a country? But not TOO great a p0litician, because that just means she is cold, calculating, divisive, and ambitious.

So you see? You are all just whining when you say that there will never be a woman President. Just find a woman like that!

And besides, electing a biracial man is way more important and historical than electing a woman. Women are supposed to be slaves anyway.

-Little Nephthys