Sleepless Growing Pains

So I’m having my usual insomnia and I remembered all of a sudden that I have a blog. Oh yeah.

Not that anyone really read it that much, but that wasn’t really the point. I’m good at very little, but one thing I could always do was words. I can talk, sing or write my way out of anything. But it’s been two years since I talked out of my ass on this blog and while my ass is still as firm and bootylicious as it always was the bull shit that comes out of it is just not the same.

I guess it’s cuz I’m getting grown. I’m not the girl I was when I wrote that last post and that’s probably because I’m not really a girl anymore. Am I a woman? Almost, at least. I have accepted the responsibilities that the circumstances of my life have bestowed upon me and I do what I can about them. I tell myself that I will be strong and I try to follow through. Recently, I was eaten out by a tatted up medium on top of a veterinarian and I am one bender away from having a drinking problem. I suppose that makes me as much of a woman as any woman can be.

My values are basically the same, but I am not, which is why I have to let this blog go. I’m not erasing it-hell no. My years as a blogger helped me figure out who I was, and the women I blogged with gave me an anchor to pivot from when I had none. That’s something I’m indebted to them for. Those screen names believed in me. I wasn’t about to get that where I was standing. When you’re a girl raised by wolves-more specifically, a lunatic holy roller and a washed up cheerleader with fake tits (my mother and step mother) it’s important to have those female roll models in your life even if you never meet them in person. So important.

Will I still blog? Will I still write? You bet your ass I will. I won’t be here, but you’ll find me floating around. On the tumblr, on the twitter, saying things that will undoubtedly come back to bite me in the ass in the future as per us. Maybe I will be your counselor one day if you happen to be sold into human slavery. You might even see my face in your local police blotter without even knowing its me. Just remember I couldn’t have gotten there without you. And just give me a hollah when you come to town.