Primary His Ass

CAUTION: Angry, explicit Little Isis rant about to ensue.

Prelude: Our Hearts go out to Norway.

Word on the street is that Bernie Sanders thinks someone should primary Obama.

SANDERS: Brian, believe me, I wish I had the answer to your question. Let me just suggest this. I think there are millions of Americans who are deeply disappointed in the president, who believe that with regard to Social Security and other things, he said one thing as a candidate and is doing something very much else as a president. Who cannot believe how weak he has been for whatever reason in negotiating with Republicans, and there’s deep disappointment. So my suggestion is, I think one of the reasons the president has made the move so far to the right is that there is no primary opposition to him and I think it would do this country a good deal of service if people started thinking about candidates out there to begin contrasting a progressive agenda as opposed to what Obama believes he’s doing. […] So I would say to Ryan, discouragement is not an option. I think it would be a good idea if President Obama faced some primary opposition.

No shit, Sherlock. Someone should primary Obama? What a novel idea. Why don’t you do it, Bernie? Why not get some balls?

Bust this shit, readers. I had my first job when I was sixteen. I was a cashier at burger king. I still remember that first paycheck. Oh, the sweet smell of hard earned money. I relished opening that check. And of course when I did, I saw that some of my earnings were deducted for social security and other taxes. Some of my coworkers bitched about it, but I didn’t mind. At sixteen I knew that if I didn’t make bank later in life I was paying into a system that would benefit me for my contribution to society. I was raised on work ethic and honesty, like most Americans. Only unlike most Americans, I took it serioiusly.

I work hard, readers. I bust my ass. I’m a certified hustler, and I have paid for everything I own, from the clothes on my back to the nail polish on my toes to the ghetto ass car I drive. Don’t try to tell me I’m a spoiled millennial, because I’ll kick your ass from here to Canada.

Yeah, Obama should face some primary opposition. In fact, WHY IS HE NOT FACING A PRIMARY CHALLENGE RIGHT NOW? WHAT DEMOCRATIC PRESIDENT CUTS SOCIAL SECURITY, MEDICAID AND MEDICARE AND DOES NOT FACE A PRIMARY CHALLENGE?

Jesus Christ. If I were old enough, I would primary him. And don’t give me that shit. Talkin’ bout “B-b-b-but, there’s no way, Little Isis! That can’t happen! It would weaken the party! Bachmann would win! We’ll all DIIIIIIEEEEEE!”

F*ck that noise. If Bachmann runs and wins against Obama, know what imma do? Laugh. I will laugh and laugh. And then I will f*cking point at your stupid asses and laugh some more.

What makes you think I give a shit about how a primary challenge to Obama might affect the Democratic Party and its chances for 2012? What has the Democratic Party done for ME lately, other than take away my benefits, cut my financial aid and do everything humanly possible to not give a shit about the future of my generation and by extension this country?

Oh. Primary Opposition to Obama would weaken him for 2012? Let me just pretend for a second that I care…

wait for it….

waaaaiiiiit….

Nope, still don’t give a shit. I don’t care who replaces him. Me and every other American pays for his food, his house, his jet and his butlers. And his ass is canned.